The critical reappraisal of the 2000's Sonic games has increasingly mystified me as time has gone on. I initially thought it was some kind of inside joke, like everyone spontaneously agreed to call Heroes, Shadow, '06 and so on good, as part of the Internet's continual irony or post-irony or whatever. As time has gone on, though, it's gotten to the point where there are hundreds of full-blown essays defending the titles, elements from those games called back to in more recent entries, and even a full-blown blockbuster movie trying desperately to make sense of Sonic Adventure 2's plot. Not that I don't entirely get why; part of it is just nostalgia on people's end, but there are a couple worthwhile elements from that era, namely the good soundtracks and the hilarious cutscenes. However, I feel the need to disabuse the recent praise somehow, and this blog being what it is, my attention was drawn towards the Sonic game that even the most rabid fans won't go to bat for.
The premise of Sonic and the Secret Rings goes that one day, a genie named Shahra pops out of a copy of the Arabian Nights tales, and tells Sonic that their entire world is under threat due to Erazor Djinn, another genie set on erasing the stories told within. Sonic, naturally, is the only one that can travel inside and save their world because that's just kind of what he does, either that or he recently got his Bachelor's degree in Middle Eastern studies. Along the way he encounters figures like King Shahryar, Ali Baba, Sinbad and so on, all taking the form of established Sonic characters, along with him having to collect seven world rings in order to put a stop to Erazor Djinn's plan. It's nothing all that interesting, but there are at least a couple of those classic nonsensical lines you'd expect from the series, and the hand-drawn illustrations during the cutscenes are legitimately nice. The visuals in general are far and away the best thing about the game, with environments being rather varied and detailed, though that's where any praise I have for the game stops.
The conceit with Secret Rings is that it's an auto-runner, in that brief window right before they would become one of the dominant game genres on smartphones, and the thing is that I don't hate the idea in concept. Having control over Sonic in a full 3D space in the games preceding felt like piloting a skittish cat trying to cross a wet floor, so simplifying his movement and putting him on a linear track would theoretically be a step in the right direction. There are two major issues with this, however; one is that despite the limited controls, the level design is trying to still be akin to previous 3D Sonic levels, meaning that it often expects a level of exploration and player finesse that you're not going to get out of a Sonic that never stops running and relies on tilt controls. The other is that, with no exaggeration, the game has some of the most broken and unresponsive controls of any platformer I've ever played.
The only thing that reliably works is tilting the Wii Remote to move Sonic left and right, which while sluggish, is at least bearable. Everything else is either extremely delayed, comes with arbitrary restrictions, or is outright glitched and will stop working entirely. As Sonic never stops running and is locked to the pathway of the level, it guarantees Sonic will be at the mercy of haphazardly placed enemies and traps every two seconds. The jump and brake buttons both attempt to slow Sonic down, but Sonic will continue to slide forward even as you hold the button down, meaning you'll often slam into the obstacle you were trying to avoid in the first place. Even backing up requires constant movement, resulting in any preparation for platforming becoming an awkward patience-testing shuffle. All of that is combined with mechanics that are outright broken, as the homing attack often won't register even when Sonic is right next to an enemy, and grind rails refuse to let Sonic jump and detach from them. All of it combines to an experience where even the most basic of tasks becomes a never-ending whirlwind of pain for the poor hedgehog, with any of the upgrades along the way being of no help.
Even ignoring the controls, the sheer repetition of the game is enough to make someone go insane. The game only has seven stages, not counting a tutorial world, and after completing a stage, the game requires that you play them over and over again with random stipulations, like not dying once or finding specific objects. The game will open up multiple objectives after completing one, and whether or not they'll open up a path to the next world is completely arbitrary, meaning you'll often replay a stage again and again on a mission path that leads nowhere, making you waste your time. It's compounded by the fact that voice lines from Sonic and Shahra will constantly repeat upon death, and the low amount of music variety makes for a special kind of irritating. The main theme especially seems determined to drill its way into your head; it's the first thing you hear on the Wii Menu, it plays when selecting a level, it plays when you beat a mission, it plays when you fail a mission, it'll probably play in your sleep.
The entire experience drove me up a wall, to the point where even the mediocre party mode became something of a reprieve, just because it will sometimes function as intended and is overall more soberly designed. Even with that small bright spot, though, it does not excuse the baffling awfulness of the main game. It's not just one of the worst Sonic games, but one of the worst installments of any platforming franchise, and I'm honestly shocked it didn't immediately kill the series upon its release. I'm at least thankful the series kept going so games like Colors, Sonic Generations, Mania and Shadow Generations could come into existence, but it's worth keeping the series' past in mind to make sure something like this never happens again.
The premise of Sonic and the Secret Rings goes that one day, a genie named Shahra pops out of a copy of the Arabian Nights tales, and tells Sonic that their entire world is under threat due to Erazor Djinn, another genie set on erasing the stories told within. Sonic, naturally, is the only one that can travel inside and save their world because that's just kind of what he does, either that or he recently got his Bachelor's degree in Middle Eastern studies. Along the way he encounters figures like King Shahryar, Ali Baba, Sinbad and so on, all taking the form of established Sonic characters, along with him having to collect seven world rings in order to put a stop to Erazor Djinn's plan. It's nothing all that interesting, but there are at least a couple of those classic nonsensical lines you'd expect from the series, and the hand-drawn illustrations during the cutscenes are legitimately nice. The visuals in general are far and away the best thing about the game, with environments being rather varied and detailed, though that's where any praise I have for the game stops.
The conceit with Secret Rings is that it's an auto-runner, in that brief window right before they would become one of the dominant game genres on smartphones, and the thing is that I don't hate the idea in concept. Having control over Sonic in a full 3D space in the games preceding felt like piloting a skittish cat trying to cross a wet floor, so simplifying his movement and putting him on a linear track would theoretically be a step in the right direction. There are two major issues with this, however; one is that despite the limited controls, the level design is trying to still be akin to previous 3D Sonic levels, meaning that it often expects a level of exploration and player finesse that you're not going to get out of a Sonic that never stops running and relies on tilt controls. The other is that, with no exaggeration, the game has some of the most broken and unresponsive controls of any platformer I've ever played.
The only thing that reliably works is tilting the Wii Remote to move Sonic left and right, which while sluggish, is at least bearable. Everything else is either extremely delayed, comes with arbitrary restrictions, or is outright glitched and will stop working entirely. As Sonic never stops running and is locked to the pathway of the level, it guarantees Sonic will be at the mercy of haphazardly placed enemies and traps every two seconds. The jump and brake buttons both attempt to slow Sonic down, but Sonic will continue to slide forward even as you hold the button down, meaning you'll often slam into the obstacle you were trying to avoid in the first place. Even backing up requires constant movement, resulting in any preparation for platforming becoming an awkward patience-testing shuffle. All of that is combined with mechanics that are outright broken, as the homing attack often won't register even when Sonic is right next to an enemy, and grind rails refuse to let Sonic jump and detach from them. All of it combines to an experience where even the most basic of tasks becomes a never-ending whirlwind of pain for the poor hedgehog, with any of the upgrades along the way being of no help.
Even ignoring the controls, the sheer repetition of the game is enough to make someone go insane. The game only has seven stages, not counting a tutorial world, and after completing a stage, the game requires that you play them over and over again with random stipulations, like not dying once or finding specific objects. The game will open up multiple objectives after completing one, and whether or not they'll open up a path to the next world is completely arbitrary, meaning you'll often replay a stage again and again on a mission path that leads nowhere, making you waste your time. It's compounded by the fact that voice lines from Sonic and Shahra will constantly repeat upon death, and the low amount of music variety makes for a special kind of irritating. The main theme especially seems determined to drill its way into your head; it's the first thing you hear on the Wii Menu, it plays when selecting a level, it plays when you beat a mission, it plays when you fail a mission, it'll probably play in your sleep.
The entire experience drove me up a wall, to the point where even the mediocre party mode became something of a reprieve, just because it will sometimes function as intended and is overall more soberly designed. Even with that small bright spot, though, it does not excuse the baffling awfulness of the main game. It's not just one of the worst Sonic games, but one of the worst installments of any platforming franchise, and I'm honestly shocked it didn't immediately kill the series upon its release. I'm at least thankful the series kept going so games like Colors, Sonic Generations, Mania and Shadow Generations could come into existence, but it's worth keeping the series' past in mind to make sure something like this never happens again.
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